December in Mainz is for Change

Somehow, here we are. Full circle. Nearly 7 years later, with 2 kids and (still) a cat in tow, the time has come to go back the the US. I won't say home, because home has become a completely fluid concept. Home, for now, is transit. Home, for the last 6.5 years, has been Mainz. For the last 4, Bretzenheim, a place I will remember as the best little neighborhood there ever was. And for the future, Austin, TX, USA.

We are excited but anxious to make our new home in central Austin, finding new friends and rediscovering old, and somehow, some way, maintaining friendships we've made across different places over the many years we've lived away from Texas. Re-learning how to live near family (hey, it sounds weird, but I feel like there is a skill to learning how to live in a place with close proximity to the people who raised you - especially after nearly 18 years of living nearly entirely on your own) will be a challenge unto itself as well.

These last few months, I've posted just a handful of the things I'll miss about Mainz, about Germany, and about Europe. The list could go much longer. The biggest lesson of it all for me, was to embrace what I didn't know, without fear, and with trust. I can figure out what I need to, whether it's learning to drive a manual transmission, obtaining a German driver's license, or giving birth in a hospital (twice!) where limited English is spoken. I know how to ask for help when I need it, and rise to meet a tough challenge. I've also learned how to find my own way in a way that's right for me, and trusting that I know what that is without needing to bring anyone else's ideas or opinions.

I hope that living in a place from where I came doesn't turn me back into the person I was before I left. I fear falling into old habits, getting comfortable, and not acknowledging the leaps of personal and professional growth that living abroad has allowed me. At the same time, I hope I'm not so mired into what I had, and what was, that I don't enjoy what I have, what is. Here's to a new start in a new year, however long we end up in this new environment.