Frankfurt Airport, it's Time for a Do-Over

I'll start this post with a rant. I really hate Frankfurt Airport. Now, I've slept overnight at more airports than is normal - SFO, ORD, YYZ. So many, and I still remember the airport codes - this makes me somewhat of an expert. In Frankfurt, well, the putrid gray colors...the parking garages that are cold and endless... the smoking rooms you can smell from too far away... the lack of water fountains... the lack of helpful staff... I could go on. The absolute worst part though, is the process to reclaim your VAT.

It's convoluted during normal working hours, and even more convoluted outside those times. Since neither Frankfurt's airport, nor inside signage, nor information desk, can be bothered to clearly explain how it works, here is your guide. After 4 failed attempts at off-hours VAT reclamation by 3 different family members.... we shall fail no more!

DURING WORKING HOURS (7 am - 6 pm):

• Customs window is open. Find the window ("Zoll") in your terminal and ask for a stamp. DO THIS BEFORE CHECKING YOUR BAGS and it usually helps if you already have a boarding pass.
• If you check your bags, then go to the Zoll, they won't stamp anything they can't inspect. 
• After going to the customs window, you must then go to the Global Blue window next door. They will immediately give you cash. 
• (My complaint:) Both windows often have lines. This is a convoluted and highly inefficient process. Make sure you have an extra half-hour to deal with this nonsense in addition to the usual time you allot to get through check-in and security. 

OUTSIDE WORKING HOURS (6 pm - 7 am): 

• You have two options: 
• Option 1: There is a red phone at the customs window. You can call and wake up a customs employee, and make them stamp your receipts. 
• This is the easiest method, and no signage or info desk people will tell you about it. Amazingly, airline staff, passport control staff, and pretty much everyone else doesn't know about the red phone.  
• Option 2: Go to the info desk. Ask for a piece of paper that will let you in past security with the bags you need to check. Check in for your flight, tell them you want to check your bags, but you need to get the customs stamp first. Go through security. Go to baggage claim D (terminal 2) or C (terminal 1) and find the customs window. It "should" be open, however it is known to be closed anyway. Get a stamp, and have them take your checked baggage out to the plane. 
• I can't imagine anyone would actually do this. I'm mostly writing it to comment on the ridiculous effort required.
• So, option 1 completed (because who in their right mind...really... ), you can mail in your receipts to Global Blue and get your cash in the mail. 

In a worst-case scenario, you can also get your receipts stamped at your local German Embassy. Incredibly, they CHARGE per stamp, something like $5. So, unless you spent a lot of money in one place, it's probably not worth doing. 

To end, I will say this. They do it right in Dublin. No human beings are involved. You take your receipts to a machine, drop them in, and tell it how much to pay you. Honor system. Guess what? IT WORKS. 

... that is all.